Thursday, November 30, 2006

Perhaps life's fair to me, just that i cant see it. First thing is my hair, and whatever possessed me to walk out of the saloon in that condition. i'm amazed by my courage.

Well it was fine actually, at first look. But after a closer observation upon reaching home, i kinda resembles a fish ball. Plus my small head. Thanks for that laughter. *stare at you*

Tried to hide my hair with a cap today. Hope it's just a first-day-ugliness thing, may it wear out tmr. Fish ball-head, begone.

Oh man, i'll gladly go for a guy's haircut now. HA!

*knock some sense into me*

i think the hair's bothering me a lil too much. Hur~

*
*

though it's holiday, school's not all that good afterall. to begin with, we only got fairy godmother to blame. thank her for giving us a teacher that's out to FAIL us.

we've got this essay thingy we're suppose to write before the hols. the topic was like "anything" can? I mean, how do you start an essay like that?! May sound easier, then again, not realli so. So we relied GREATER on internet and library. And that list of bibliography, where we're suppose to give the books and websites we referred to, were our killer.

I mean, the whole of performing arts faculty, there's like hundred plus two hundred people. With that amount of essays, would one dare to imagine the amount of references he have to go through? So normal thinking would be, he wont check everything, so we can be a lil relax with that reference part.

BIGGEST MISTAKES. He indeed checked EVERYTHING. Ivonn, poor soul, kena a call from dearest Matt Grey today, saying she took ONE OR TWO SENTENCES from a web, and requested for her to change it by the end of the week, plus her marks wont be excellent. -_-

Is he out to fail us or what?

Not like we should copy from internet, but he's way of marking papers is ridiculous. No wonder it always takes a million years before we get our papers back.

*
*

The fact of me being complacent has been haunting me for days. i was just about to get myself depressed and stuff when i heard pst phil saying, :

"I'm knocking on the door of your life. Can I come in?"

Perhaps it looks kinda no link. What has that gotta do with dance? Well, everything just links up, one way or another.

Rather bothered by the fact that the fire's going. It's been left burning a little too long. I havent add new firewood. So it's now just burning, flickering, vanishing any moment into a thin line of smoke. Dance that is. The passion. Perhaps is running so low, it's been drained so much from all the non-stop dancing, that it seem harder to continue.

Maybe humans are like cars, and passion's like fuel. Lesser, slower. That's how things go aint it? On empty tank, we cant go anywhere.

Dance wise, i feel stagnant. Like i'm stuck in deep waters. Like i'm stuck in deep mud. Its like every step, both frontward and upwards, are so so so so hard. I definitely have not reach that nowhere-up-to-go-already stage. It's just something right in my face, trying to tell me this is where you'll stop. Much as i want to go forward, it's like being stuck with a petroless car. I'm like, stuck.

Stop dead in my track, am i realli improving as i'm suppose to? As Dr Bernard defines death as failure. Failure to move on, is this what's gonna define me? my dance? never. i'm kicking the devil aside tonight. with my attitude kick =)) i make a decision, dance and death shall never meet in my dictionary.

i've opened the door countless times. and today, the Lord has called me to open it again. unknowingly, i must have closed it. maybe the wind blew it shut. maybe fairy godmother came to visit, closing the door after herself. whatever it is, i must have close the door from Him somehow. no i didnt want to. but somehow, it did.

Today, He knocked. "Can I come in?" Dear God, of course, come all the way in. teach me never to shut any doors from You. come into the area i carefully labelled in my heart, called "dance". Come and reign. Perhaps that area i've hold on a little too much. Perhaps there can have a little more of You. in fact, a lot more of You. others hear Your voice while driving, while singing, while in the office, while jogging. Can there come a day i'll hear Your voice while dancing? Can i fall to tears while dancing, like when people does when singing? Can i be overwhelmed by Your love, in dance, as in reading of the cross? Can dance, to me, be not only of techniques, feels, grooves, style and accents? Can dance not only be of entertainment and leisure to me?

Can i, through dance, worship You? Can i, through dance, glorify You? People does with paintings and music. Can i not, with dance?

It just struck me. maybe it's not we're not working hard enough. it's just that, it's hard for God to bless our dancing, cause we're too busy dancing, we've pushed God out of it. with one leg, we're busy with bounces, the other leg, busy with plies. one arm, waving around in choreos, the other? outstretched to God, not reaching out, but stopping Him.

The list of importance might need a little adjustment. If we have NOTHING, no wealth, no fame, no friends, no achievement, no dance, no EVERYTHING, will God be enough?

Maybe it's time to open the door to Him. into Project O. once again. we've prac-ed hard, we dance, we dance, we have fun. but God and dance, it doesnt show in us, the blend. aint we suppose to show of God in dance? maybe we've long known, we're missing the point, we need to come back to God on this. yet though we know, we're still missing it.

As it is with revival, that prayers stirs revival of nations. prayers shall stir revival within us. as they say, a family that prays together, stays together. if only project o prays together.

2 Chrn 7:14

Puii- filled. touched. awed.

2:12 AM

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

i know tenderness is Your touch
a feeling overwhelmed by Your love
all my confidence in Your trust
my saving grace
all my days

a never ceasing urge to hold on
to the hands that bled for my wrongs
Jesus Christ King of all
my saving grace
all my days

i live for all You are
my King, our Savior

eternal burning fire
consume all of my life

That pretty song by CCC.

Holiday has made me pretty much an auntie. i hardly behave like my age. maybe except the stay at home stare at com part. other than that's marketing with mum, wearing some super nonsense stuff and eat nasi lemak. Hahahahah~ not to mention, i'm actually not complaining about goin non-airconed place to eat. Oh no, so much for hanging out with mum. HA!!! =P

Evidence of that? I actually took pics of vege...

Lonely lonely lemon.










Basket-ful of stuff =)))










That cute vege. Reminds me of bowling ball. Haha~









All that veges. Perharps they dance too =))) *vege dance*








That's my dinner =)









Life-size dancing Santa. Hahahahaha~ reminds me of Theresa. =P














Something funnie at the KPT. Mum was waiting for food, so i went to buy drink. She thought i went princess throneroom, so ordered one more. End up, we have three dirnks for two person. a BIT too much. Hhaaha. Da bao-ed the teh beng =)))

One more thing down from my to-do list =))) Cutted my hair!! =) Well, not much diff though. i wanted it to be like shockingly short. but mum's beside me while the lady's cutting, so there goes my chance to scare her. shucks. cant cut it short too, cos mum secretly wished i were more girl-like. hhahahaha. okay, not secretly. she's always bothering me to wear more skirts. typical. HA~ =P

anyways, just glad it's shorter now, not irritating my eyes that much.

the road is long
the valleys deep
the oceans wide in front of me
BUT GOD saved the day
Jesus Christ
You're the way
the truth
the life
the hope of all mankind

Puii- the Bible is a rich man's book.

2:31 PM

I'll blame it on the oversleeping and coughing these few days. I sorta breeze through. wasnt productive with my hours.

I just sat and wondered where my days slipped to. Perharps i should start doing some time planning thingy. cant have me bleaching my holidays away.

one thing, i so should start sleeping earlier, and to wake up early. i wanna resume the morning walk thing. the prayer walk i should say. cos its so wonderful. thank God woodlands dun have that much of early-waking freaks, so the morning's practically mine =)

and mayb keeping to that "crunches everyday" thingy might help my tummy a lil.

my weak arms needa a lil workout.

i got tons of books that need reading. loads more CDs to listen.

i need to practice my ballet, before i forget everything.

my room. a mess. a lil tidying might help.

time to learn that cookie which i've always said i wanted to learn. and that soup. and that stir fried whatever. cooking lessons from mum soon, since both of us are so free at home like EVERYDAY.

what's more. Christmas is coming =))) time to write santa a letter. HA~ (that was random)

So if you just sit down and think of how to expand yourself, your 24-hour suddenly seem very little. enough of wasting time here now. get off your seat and do some crunches ms swan.









all the nonsense dance vids. =)))

yawn. zzz.

oh ya, last thing. PRAISE GOD. i recovered =))))))))

Puii- all i desire is You.

2:42 AM

Monday, November 27, 2006

perharps it was worse than i thought. was paralzed in bed for half the day. i remembered it not being this bad in the morning. conclusion, resting aint that good for illness afterall.

so i couldnt make it for the fondue partey. sadness. i so wan a dose of chocs. if i were the doc, this'll probably be my prescription.

10 mins of nonsense laughter. 3 times a day.
2 random statement. whenever with chewie.
1 orh lor lor lor. once per day.
20 pics to be taken. 5 times a day.

do so till recover. that might take forever. =)

the coughing got a lil to my brains probably. and thanks to THERESA for the anti-anything-bad vid that she sent me =)))



i tried to be a good girl and my oh-so-messy cupboard a lil. my reward was two mouthful of banana cake. hahahaha~

okay that was so random. silver rocks!

so that's probably a sign of tiredness. boredom perharps. cos i cant bleach no more. there's only till episode 104 now on youtube. hahaa~

Puii- mayb i'll feel better with another bite of banana cake.

5:48 PM

i've got it too. Seems like the whole world's getting sick a lil. i think i got a lung-ful of phlegm or something. Result of oversleeping perharps. either that, it must be from the pretty cookies.

zzz.

Puii- virus and germs go away~!

11:10 AM

Sunday, November 26, 2006

There goes my voice and here come my dark circles. That's what i get for not sleeping whole night.

it was like a wave, i didnt wanna sleep. thank You Lord. thank You Holy Spirit. i just wanna swim deeper into Your ocean of love =)

Spent half the night with KPT gang, sang and sang and sang. wrote songs. it was like a overflow from the saturday service. i just didnt wanna sleep. you know those times where you're like so tired yet, something's here right now and you didnt wanna miss it. you dont wanna sleep it away.

i wasnt satisfied. just being at the outer court, it's not enough for me. i wanna go deeper. i wanna come closer. i wanna know You more. i wanna love You more.

ask and it shall be given.

service was wow. pst phil talks about prayer, spirit of prayer, and importance of prayer. that prayer is the key to revival. a new wave. a new rain. =) i traded my voice for tears. worth it.

My brain probably cant take it much longer. A tiny nap of 3 hours just now didnt do my dark rings any good. please, i went to church with SUPER BIG eyebags today!! kinda scared myself from the reflction on the train. but who cares. i was goin to meet God =)

project o face with a TINY dispute with some individuals again over booking of seats. the evil side of me wished there was a bazooka beside me or something. the good side was keeping the evil side silent. so our cellgroup had to sit separated. =(

O SCHOOL'S having a kids camp during the holidays~! whoever might be interested, go to the right side of the screen, find oschool under links. Hahahaha~~ for two days, we had this booth thingy set up for this camp thingy. information counter. haha~ like almost everyone ignored us the first day. think cos got more youths on saturday service. there were more today. anyway, the camp seems like fun =)))

i'm kinda too lazy to do anything now. wanted to go back to lala land and cure my panda eyes, but with rice inside it aint that good for my tummy. aching all over, tired tired tired. but yea, i'd rather be, then to miss what the Lord has for me =)

Puii- just one touch. the train of Your robe.

9:59 PM

I love You Holy Spirit.

Puii-

5:36 AM

Saturday, November 25, 2006

It's like a broken dam, something's being released today. It was like an explosion within. I felt His hand just lifting us up to a whole new realm.

Somehow everything linked up today. For days i've been stuck to the story of Samson in the book of Judges. A life of regret and anger. A life of selfishness and arrogance. Though he's been chosen by God at birth to do such a great and mighty work, he end up dying in such shame and regret. His life seem glorious, having strength that people hunger for, doing such great works for God. Yet, at the end of His life, it wasnt "Christ" in his heart. Selfishness bites into his soul so deeply, he took it with him even to death.

It was such a sad story. I don't want to live life for me, myself. It's all for Him.

Stepping out and do the impossble.
Stepping up to a higher level.
Stepping back for God to take centrestage.

My eyes was open. My mind stretched. My faith grew. I feel i can believe in so so so much more. If it is within your mind to conceive, it is within reach. For so long, all we're saying is "cannot". We don't question "Why not?". How has our thinking been so boxed up? Where did the childlike faith go? Its about time we step out of this cave of "safe-thinking" Faith is not hoping and wishing. Faith is stepping out.

Step out into the unknown.
Step out into the impossible.
Step out into the world and shine the light of Christ.

3:25 AM

Friday, November 24, 2006

A new-found love in photoshopping. I can spend hours and hours figuring my way through. haha, it kills time and lets out my creative juices. It would definately be better if i dun needa spend half the time wondering how to do this and that. ha~

Class today was nice~ we all fell in love with CRUNCHES!!! =))) Tummy begone~ And carol's choreo today is so WOAH half of us have a HUH on our faces. haha, interesting moves i would say. i dont even know what my arms and legs are doing the whole time. =P but it's nice, just that we cant geddit somehow. MORE PRAC! =)

God, i pray You bless project O with strength and wisdom. To be able to train hard for Your glory. Let us SOAR with You. Over every mountain and ocean of defeat. Let us see something GREATER than our failures. Let us see the light at the end of the tunnel. We shall dance for YOU~

*smile*

Puii- sing, i love You so.

12:45 AM

Thursday, November 23, 2006

I had the weirdest dream ever please. I dreamt project O turning into a gang of superheros. Not the superman, hercules type. Somewhat like powerpuff. God indeed gave me a creative brain.

And we were out saving the world. like we each got a diff special power or something. ha~ i feel so like in a cartoon. and its like another sleepless night. 10 hour movie~ woah.

It must be from reading Theresa's blog, cos she says she feels like God's superwomen now. haha. weird brain gets weird ideas =P

PROJECT O SUPERHEROS! *Superman handsign*

Puii- *singing powerpuff's themesong*

12:18 PM

Perharps its from staying home all day. Doing nothing but slack. It just got into me somehow and i just realised how little i smiled nowadays.

Perharps i swam too much, and the chlorine sorta got into my head.

Perharps the very fact that i'm eating far too much lately is bothering me.

It just took something so small to let all the emoness out. Sorry Kenneth, you got the full blow.

A lil dose of vanilla coke and dan fei bi jiao hong works. Kiakia rocks! =) A frownless hour in front of the tv. Maybe jokes was all i needed then.

And of cos, Theresa's kiss of death, Plankton's nonsense and Chewie's nose digging thingy anti-emoed me =) Hee~ million thanks, trillion loves! *hugs*

It was like spring-cleaning, getting all the dust of emoness out. The day seem brighter, or rather, it's gonna be when the sun comes out. =)


i feel i can smile again. it aint that tiring to raise a few muscles afterall =)


i love Dr A R Bernard's sermon~ =)


Oh ya, to PLANKTON :
I survived today without taking ANY pics!! =) I controlled myself at SMU. hahahah~ *victory sign*

Puii- stepping out. breaking out.

1:06 AM

ARGH!


I just wanted to scream.

The fact that i am a human is so true so true. Can i not see the beast within me? Perharps i need more than a cold bucket of water over my head.

I feel like eating ten cups of cup noodles and throwing flowers down the window.

*Don't let me argue. Just let me OBEY.*


I cant agree more with Dr A R Bernard. "Women tends to forgive in installment." Let time put out fire.

Teach me. to be just like Jesus.

Puii- *take a deep breathe*

12:08 AM

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

New blogskin. Took forever to choose the blogskin, and i'm done in like half and hour editing -_- i should be more descisive. Ha~

Well, i just got tired got the previous one. Black and all. I wanted to do a Christmas one but it's all cartoon and stuff. Ha~

I got a LIL darker from swimming. Real LITTLE, that is. =) I feel my lungs growing. I guess that means good.

Thanks to AARON, now i'm stuck to this song.

do i make You proud?


Puii-

7:10 PM

Monday, November 20, 2006

Let all who hunger and thirst come to Him, and be satisfied.

The something-different about Jabez, i want it too. Lord, i just cant seem to get enough of You.

khabot.

Puii-

10:17 PM

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Last gig over. Was better i feel. Not good enough still. We had a mass reflection session after that. MILLION THANKIES TO DANIEL! =))

Service was good. Time to step out.

i'm stepping out
i'm breaking out
i'm shaking all the fears off me

To my project O darls :
Though it aint that good this time. We were complacent and all. Let not this struck us down ya? Time to pick the baton up again. Time to start running. Time to dream again. Time to dance. =)


I thought of one thing. Why do i dance? It was like a reminder. I was brought back to Easter. To this song.

[[A time to dance*
[[A time to laugh and cry*
[[Someone help me*
[[Rewrite my story*

[[A time to breath*
[[A time to live and die*
[[It's my journey*
[[I need to see Your light*

It was the first time i ever saw a dance and wanted to cry. Inside i remembered me telling God, that's what i wanna be. A dancer with Your anointing upon my life. Touching people with dance. Celebrate Your presence with dance. Praise Your name with dance.

Maybe i danced too much nowadays to know why am i dancing.

Maybe there's just too much of I, me and myself within, i cant see no nothing else.

Maybe it's just me. Forgetting every important thing. remembering every crap and junk.

Yea, maybe it's just me.

I hate missing out on all the small things in life cos of busyness. I hate missing everything important cos all the time i was looking at every other unimportant thing.

I hate missing the stars just becos i wanna rush back home.

I hate missing the lovely dawn just becos i wanna sleep in late.

I hate missing an emo pic jsut becos i'm lazy to take my phone out (typical of me)

One more thing i hate. Forgetting why i danced in the first place.

To You.

Puii- emoed. suddenly.

10:16 PM

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Thrid gig today. Much better than the previous few =) Tmr's the final showcase. Let's do even better yea project o crew? =))) haha.

Finally got to swim today~ realisation of how small my lungs are and how big my tummy is. Thanks. But it was fun, i got a free swimming lesson, listening to this old guy teaching some kids. haha.

ZZZ. I'm so dead tired. Service tmr! =)))



your silence is appreciated. your listening ear would be the greatest gift.

Puii-

10:59 PM

*Faints~* its SO NICE!

Project O's second gig was not that good. Ryan, Kenny, Daniel came to watch. Low energy level, not high, not sure of moves, basically, not there yet. Let's jia you for tmr ya?! =)

Cellgroup was a wow. Kenny preached on speaking in tongues. Though it's not a very deep word, like deep deep. But yet the move of God was such a wow. I believe all were so so so touched.

Yet, my soul cries out, that's not enough. I want more.

And it just so struck me again.

the harvest.

I'm captured by Your holy calling
Set me apart
I know You're drawing me to Yourself
Lead me Lord i pray.

Puii-

12:26 AM

Friday, November 17, 2006

11:09 AM

Thursday, November 16, 2006

An interesting day.

Woke up, shocked. Cos for the past two days average waking up time is 11 plus 12. So, clever enough to forget all about setting the alarm clock, i woke up thinking "what time izzit now?!?!"

It was 7 plus AM. -_-

And what's even better. I cant sleep back.

Spent the whole morning slacking at home, thinking of the performance later. Well, i was pretty slack. Ha.

Went down tpy earlier to find jeans. End up there aint no nice stuff there. what a dissapointment -_-.

Second shock of the day. Theresa will be SO LATE. She forgot Chewie's jeans and had to go back home to take. And she's still at cck around 12, our meeting time.

So met up with the rest first, worrying where's THERESA. She said she's gonna fly down, so i called her FLYING FISH! =P I've decided, that's gonna replace her "luo han" =)))

Anyways, she got there JUST in time, *cold sweat*. The performance was hmmm, kinda screwed i feel. Was okay la, just that the crowd's super low, and we made some mistakes. Could have been better. Though the stage is small, four on stage feels pretty empty. Ha~

Slacked around tpy after that till the rest came. It's been forever since i last ate Pastamania.

Okay, not forever.

To expose theresa of her weird acts again! Jacky order Banana Pizza, and was saying it's nice while eating it, when FLYING FISH theresa said "This is the shit man!!(meaning it's nice i guess)"

She have a gift of making people laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Met up the rest after that, with it came another shock. Xiao Xian left her orange shirt in the office!!!!

But God is good, a fren took it down for her. =) All our needless worries. Ha.

Second performance was okay too. Crowd was better than the afternoon ones. Still the stage is far too small for 11 of us.

Took pics and vids =) *as usual* lazy to post em up though. Hahaha.

Million thankies to those who came. =)))

Travelling around like oranges. Sunkist might consider hiring us as mobile adverds. Many stares of curiosity. Guess we were a sight,

Ee Ching's class after that. Elmo came to visit her. But class was okay. Much fun =) Did a pirouette from kneeing position. And my feet hurt.

The orange planktons did something stupid. We were doing the matrix look alike thingy when BOTH OUR LEGWS CRAMPED UP! Hahahahahahaha and we're still laughing like mad la. Hhahaa cuteness please.. its like so dumb la! =P

and look what Cal wrote for my testimonial:
she's like my twin sista please.. wahahahaha~ i cant believe we hurt the same leg together at the same time! lols. i is loving joo~ thanx for always being the 1 who pei he wo.. hee. life wouldnt be the same without u!! *hugx*

and now, we even speak the same jaang jaang language!! woohoo~
- flauway
- ke lian de xiao dong dong
- bah long long

hahahaha~

*orange & black capui dance*

Shes so cute la!

My brain's pretty dead from all the dancing and laughing. Hahaha. So, "step up" to grow some brain cells back. More dancing on Friday~~

HAPPIE 19TH FLYING FISH!!!!!!! i is loving you! =))))

Puii-

12:37 AM

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

i searched, and found not
i looked, and see not
i hope i know
i wish i know
yet i know not.

i know You do. but do You? do You?
i know You will. but will You? will You?
tell me won't You? won't You?
i know that i know
You do. You do.
I do. love You.


White dress.
Hairband.
Little Girl.

Puii- some stuffs.

11:59 AM

Project O debut gig @ Toa Payoh HDB Hub

15th Nov (Wed)
1pm, 6pm
17th to 19th Nov (Fri to Sun)
6pm

A total of 5 gigs =) *excited*

Thank God.

Puii-

4:18 AM

Talking about plans, today was quite screwed up.

Plan to go swimming. Kept aside due to the worry of fading-colour of my hair in the chemical filled pool. I might turn the water pink or something.

Plan to buy new lens. Postponed, due to shopping trip with parents.

Plan to meet Theresa and Khye earlier to shop. Pushed all the way till dunno-what-time, shopping with parents.(which theresa called, "Parents' trap")

Guess the only thing i fulfilled was to go for dance prac. Ha.

Anyways, spent the daytime with mum and dad. Shopped and ate. Always cherish the time spent with em. =) and cos of them i got to see this REAL NICE jacket. i so wanna get it. =( Hai~ never mind =P Hahaha.

Shopping with parents is a preeetty cute experience. My parents got totally diff taste, so they picked diff stuff for me to try, and they'll say each other's choice is weird. I'm like "orh, orh, orh" haha..cuteness..

Saw the princesses when we went over to Orchard for shopping part two. Haha, had a little something before parting with parents and goin to meet the rest. And before i know it, we're shoppin AGAIN. Wow, how exciting.

I'm convinced. I probably AM the only girl on earth that doesn't like shopping. Ha.

Got the orange shirt for the performance. Well, just a t-shirt. and SHUCKS, i totally forgot about returning money to plankton for the shirt till now. Some kind soul please remind me. =P

Prac was pretty okay today. And our dear theresa JUST realised today is our LAST prac before performance. Haha, nice discovery. Million thankies to Daniel~ who stayed with us through pracs and gave us priceless advices. He taught us ALOT, and yes(as he said) he is the most encouraging of all the instructors. haha.

Project O had a "drama lesson" during prac, to train our "feel" for the music, or as they call it, the character, the attitude. That's what we lack, says all the instructors. Ha~

Tmr's tech run. After that's prayer meeting at JW. Been AGES since i last went back there. super misses. *looking forward*

And to end, just a song that filled my heart today. Okay, not really a song. Just some sparks in my head one night before Emerge. Mayb cos i've been watching emerge dvd these few days, all those stuff that i wrote during that period just sorta came back to me, *grins*

when the whole world turn
to walk away
leaving me down and disheartened

when my heart is hurt
by their words
that's coming like swords and daggers

(the love of the Father)

when my heart is broken
i'm helpless and lost
(when) tears filled my eyes
and my soul

the love of the Father
was all i could see
the love of the Father
put a smile to my spirit
a light descend from heaven
upon my life

it filled my heart
wipe off my tear
"it's okay,
I am here"

He heals
(my broken heart)
He saves
(my sinful life)
He loves
(me as i am)
He adores

He adores

He adores.

I just wonder how did these words ever slip away from my lips. I just wonder where did they go. If i never flip them out, they'll probably be buried forever. How fast words escapes.

may i come closer
Lord draw me nearer
i wanna step into Your chamber

hear my heart sing
praises to Your name
declaring my love to You

Lord i'm hungry for Your presence
Lord i'm thirsty for Your word
i long to be with You through eternity

Lord i kneel down i cry out
Spirit fill this place
Lord let me see the greatness of Your love

You are my desire
Lord i yearn for You
i long to be with You
through eternity
through eternity
oh Lord

Puii- where did words go?

1:07 AM

Monday, November 13, 2006

I woke up in time to give everyone else a morning call at 630am, telling them not to sleep back. Ended up, i fall into lala land's trap and found myself cabbing AGAIN~

I hate waking up late, resulting in cabbing. I mean i'm such a cab face, as plankton said, i cant say i hate to cab. (Actually, i LOVE to cab. it's just cos its so so ex.) But waking up late and end up having to cab is realli a ARGH! One thing is, i wanna save up my cab money for building fund. and i seriously need to keep off my cabbing habit la! Forever on a cab, i think i can get a Comfort/SMRT/Whatever-cab-company's membership already man. =P

Stupid flu bug left me feelin SO gong during service. I'm guilty, i fall asleep during preaching =(((( i was STRUGGLING to stay awake, SERIOUSLY. Failed pathetically. I practically swallowed sweets. Nope, no use -_-

Trip to Bugis, as usual, the shopping kings and queens did what they do best. I followed behind, recognizing the roads in bugis street for them. Hhaa.

And a must-blog thing. We were eating at the hawker behind Bugis street. Half way through an auntie approached us with a tray of rings and a bag of ba long longs, wanting us to get some stuff from her. Theresa made a pretty clever conversation..

Theresa : Auntie, i never wear all these one. See? *show her empty hands*
Auntie : Never mind ah, wear already pretty pretty ah.
Theresa : But Auntie, my face already very pretty already what.
Auntie : ... *sian diao face*

HAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAH!!!!

Theresa, that was so so SO funnie pls. HA! =P

Shopped for what seemed like forever, which was just around one two hours, but couldnt find the stuff we wanted. We wanted to grab some stuff for our performance this wed to sun. Orange's the theme. What an off colour to choose -_-. Cant they choose something nicer, like RED? =)))

Haha.

Went Far East after that. Found some orange t-shirt stuff. Settled =)

After that was to NRA production. Danzation 2006. Kinda like blind leading the blind all the way to Ngee Ann Poly. haha. Chewie studied there for two years and still blur on how to go. Ha, funnie la. =P

NRA production's pretty nice. The front part's kinda boring, also the singing singing song part. but overall its pretty nice =) i like all the jazzy stuff at the back. Hurhur.

*sidetrack* on the way home, china bear(khye) asked me what i think after watching the production. i was about to answer him, when he TURNED AROUND, IGNORE ME, AND WENT TO TALK TO THERESA! Irritant. I refused to tell him after that. Ha~ so i shall type them here. =)

All i saw was how much more Project O could go. Though NRA's not like perfect and stuff, they still make mistakes, blah blah. But in comparison, we seem so small. Not size wise, definately. That we'll surely lose. Ha, cos we only got 11. They got like 5000 people or something lidat just now on stage. =P But it's like, though for every genre they did they're not perfect, they're versatile enough to be able to perform so many forms of dance. And yes, we're still stuck with our hip hop and street jazz. Ballroom, latin, contemp, jazz, partner works. It seem so far from us. I seriously cant imagine our crew dancing that yet. it just opened my eyes to how little we've been exposed to, dance wise. Hip hop and street jazz' probably just filled our world right now. Ballroom seem like a forever next-door thingy that'll never reach us. Jazz' like too feeeeel~ for us. Partner dance? Too touchy.

Are we just called to groove? Give us stylized stuff, are we suppose to stand stunned and jaw-dropped, thinking 'we cant do that.'? If ryan suddenly just say, we're not gonna have hip hop training anymore, or something lidat, will we just die of boredom cos we cant do anything else? Are we just called to be pure hip hop crew? Can we survive as that in the market today?

I just feel we so needa expand our dance language. Versatile, being relevant to the dance world today. Not hiding in some backstreets, doing our dope dope and yo yo stuff.

As my classmate said, in Singapore, dancers' gotta be like instant noodles. Everythin in a package, instant results. I just feel we gotta be versatile.

Of course, easier said than done. I know it's gonan be tough for us all. And now our training's gonna get tougher. More classes per week. Probably with random gigs coming in (hopefully). Jia you jia you project o!! We can do it ya?! =) Let's all be bao ga liao dancers! =)

And ryan's words just came into my mind. If we cant take what we're given now, how can the instructors give us more? how can we picked things up faster? when will we be qualified to be given more? if we cant even deal with hip hop and street jazz, dun think about reggae, ballroom, popping locking, blah blah blah. Settle one, before the next come. We all gotta GAMBATTE!! =) Let's be faithful with the little that we've been given, let's make the most out of the hip hop and street jazz that we're given. Only when we're faithful in the little things can we be given more.

Faithful trainings do help =)


Okay, i so so SO wanna sleep now. Suppose to go Sentosa with DN1A tmr. looking at the hour now, i doubt i'm going. PLUS i had planned to go swimming late morning~ =) seriously speaking, i would much rather spend the morning alone.

Dance prac dance prac tmr LATE night! We're having gig from wed to sun. Do come see see us if you're around there k? =) Ha, free adverd on the blog =)))

I wanted to write the timings here, when i just realised i actually dont know the timings all -_- sian. Never mind, shall advertise when i get to know the times. Nites all!

Puii- i so wanna sleep.

1:59 AM

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Flu buggy got me real bad. With it came slight fever and cough. I DUN WANNA BE SICK AGAIN! Used tissue at the speed of light(mayb a lil slower). Literally rubbed my nose off my face. I look like an instant Rudolf. Christmas moods' on my nose. Ha.

With the flu bug came frustration and the whiny spirit. Guess my nerves was extra thick today, free for steppin on, frustration prone. And that whining thing. As i told Chews, i so so so SO feel like whinning today. Guess the virus' gotten into my brain or something. Everything's so wrong. Ha, it's just a not-me day.

PLUS, i cant dance fullout today again!! Tried to though, sweat a lil. Nowhere near fullout. Sadded. Marked positions, did a lil dance. I feel totally like a SICK person -_-

I DUN WANNA BE SICK!!!!!

*excited* i cant wait to see pst ulf! =)

Puii- so here i am again.

10:58 PM

Just reached home. Didnt sleep last night. Was watching anime. HA~

But when i did try to go to bed, "flower in the rain" just got stuck in my head. i cant get it out. i cant get to sleep. it was just hammering in my head.

So i got off bed. Went out to take a long long long long walk. for some reasons i love walking. especially walking very slowly, alone. Its just these precious moments that i can truly spend, walking with God.

I was telling God how much i love Him as i was walking 'round a corner, when an astonishing sight stuck me, and i almost teared. it was like God telling me, "and I love you too."












































God is a generous God. The gift of beauty He gave mankind. Wow. He could have left the world flat and colourless, we wouldnt have known the difference. Yet, cos He so love us, He made earth a beautiful place to live in. And came a poem that i read so long ago.

8:18 AM

Praise God, gone is my first sem, arrival of my holidays! =) *praying for a job*

Performance showcase was pretty okay. =) Kinda little audience came, but i cant see them anyways, so doesn't matter =) Haha..was pretty smooth the whole thing. was a worry beforehand, but it went on okay. Thank God! =)

*and i know You were there. i can hear Your clap =)*

that's encouraging.

from somewhere, a nasty flu virus hit me. my nose was like a running tap the whole day. sneezing sneezing sneezing, it aint the best thing to do on earth. i'll probably rub every inch of skin on my nose off soon with all the friction against the tissue. haha.

CAL SWEET GAVE ME A MARS BAR!! =)

Worship today at cellgroup, sang right to the core of my being. River of God cleanses. Refreshes =)


A song in my phone. 've been listening to it for days before i realise, i did a dance on that song some years back, for my first syf. my teacher's choreo. Of the flower in the rain..

Flower in the rain - Jaci Velasquez

You are the One
There's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well
But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away
And once again I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out

So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

The evil wind it blows a storm
To rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm
I'm led astray far too easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on

Lord, you have searched me and know
When I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine like the day
When you look into my heart.


And i super love the chorus.

Flowers in the rain. The first dance i ever did in contemp. Now it's all coming back to me. The dance. The emotions. The experience. The sensation. The feeling. Of those moments. Like i'm called to be like a flower in the rain. To be opened up and broken, in Your refreshing rain.

Puii- Holy Spirit rain down.

1:16 AM

Thursday, November 09, 2006

First thing i did with the com was to find this vid, cos they say they're sick. and YES, they are.

YES!!!! I FINISHED MY EXAMS!!!!!!! What a joy! But then again, what a worry. Alot of oh-nos followed today's assesement. Some unknown lady came in as our external examinar. Hope she know nuts about Martha Graham and her irritating technics =))) It was a little under performed, our whole class. We did better in class, i feel. And there aint no clues written on their faces, the examiner, tammy and ricky. Well, wait's all we can do. Hope there'll not be a "you cant continue in our school anymore" in my letterbox.

This new Program Leader(head of department) that came wants to raise the standard of the school. Said "if you're not gonna make it, you might as well leave now." to my class. Ha~ we all got freaked out. They said the school's gonna do quality check on the students, like we're some factory product, and so, a letter in your mail means you're outta there. Who wouldn't dread such a letter?

But yea, we've all done our best for exam i'm sure =) With only performance showcase tomolo and we're free till next sem! (for more torture) Hahaha~

Long awaited rest is coming!!! =)

Wanna work during my hols, but i'm lazy to find job. haha.

And i'm dead tired now. All my joints are all aching like mad. Knee, ankle, shin, it's all coming back from a morning of jumping -_- Thank God for the past two days, now it's gonna be all over =)

I'm gonna eat chocs tomolo to celebrate =)))

Puii- Our God is an awesome God.

8:10 PM

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Wanted to blog this yesterday. Apparently, i've passed the kairos moment for this blog, for it would have came timely for today at osch.

Dear God,

Let Your presence be with Project O during our practices and synchroing sessions. Let Your love melt all irritations and frustrations that may come through all the dissagreements. Let there be Christ-like patience and wisdom upon each and every one of us when faced with conflicts, that we don't have to be like ordinary dancers outside, solving problems the violent way. With the love of Christ, we SHOULD be different. We should be like Jesus. Why should we tolerate disunity in Project O, the God-chosen dancers for His glory. Why must we raise voices to one another? Why can't we be silent and listen to one another? I think the respect and appreciation kinda got under the carpet. And the pot named Anger is overheating.

Be slow to anger. Be slow to speak.

I don't see a need for conflicts. A family we are. A family we'll always be. And a family that dance together, stays together =))) Let's be a crew that'll make God proud, that'll make Kenny and Ryan proud. =) How can we be a light and salt to the world, when we can't even be of good influence to each other? I believe we'll all grow together. This path is not for just one person to walk. We'll run this race together =)

It aint nobody's fault, it's just that we're all human, we've got our imperfection. With our mouth we offend. With our attitude we anger others. But i pray, the Holy Spirit be with us for every practices, that He can constantly remind us of our behaviour. There aint no use pointing fingers at people, like the whole world is at fault. We should look inside ourselves, the pride and ego and all. And we all have, we all do. But are we willing to put it down? "I'm always correct." so shouldnt be in our vocab. When did we learn to be proud? I guess nobody can ever trace it back. But we can all start to learn to be humble.

And we should have patience, with one another and with ourselves. It takes time for us to learn stuff, some take longer, some takes shorter. Without patience frustration comes easily. Take a deep deep breath, tell yourself it's okay =)))



Okay, that was pretty long-winded of me. I just feel like this aint what project o should be heading towards, to conflicts, to arguements. Perharps this little brain of mine might have some stuff that can encourage you all. I, for one, am pretty encouraged =))) I try not to scream at people like i used to. Taking deep breaths helps. =)

Anyways, i havent blog for SO LONG!!! (okay, it feels like forever, but it's just few days.) I havent been touching the com for like how many days! And yup, i've decided to go on a Bleach fast! =P Shall not watch Bleach until a week into my holidays. =)

So, what was i up to? what else i ask you.. what can i ever be doing besides dancing? Day and night day and night. i'm gonna die of exhaustion soon or something. THANK GOD holidays start end of this week! =) I'm glad i'm glad. My sore muscles get a breather.

Had ballet exam just now early in the morning. Was pretty o~~kay. Tried to smoke through some stuff but, hai~ my smoking-through skills are just so so so cmi, i think the examiner caught me, so i was oh-no-ing all the way to the end, and gave a nice ending, to fake it all =)))

it SHOULD be pretty okay, i hope =)

tomolo's contemp! my martha graham, why art thou so hard? why art thou such an agony to learn? Thou art killing me.

Okay, that sounds like what-the-pink.

So, i uttered a lil prayer for my ballet yesterday on the train. So i shall for my contemp =)

Lord,
i place my ballet/contemp exams into Your hands. Father, You know i'm not confident. You know i'm doubtful. You know i'm feeling helpless about it. But Lord, Your hands, let it be upon me. As i dance, Spirit, won't You be with me? Tell me it's okay. Tell me i can do it. Tell me You'll empower me. Tell me ballet/contemp's easy.

It's gonna be alright.

Before i go to bed, which i so should be hours ago, just a lil something ryan said the other day. Thought it was inspiring =)

Remembering steps and getting the choreo ain't even in the criteria of being a dancer. It's a must, not a minimum.

The primary criteria for being a dance is the ability to PERFORM a choreo. The audiences don't just wanna see steps, and they wouldn't care less if you had a good or bad day before, you cant show it on stage. They want to see a PERFORMANCE, not a bitter face.

Enjoyment on stage can be forced out. Everytime you do it, it gets easier, until it becomes so into you, that you'll just enter whenever the music starts.

The difference between a strong dance and a weak dancer is performance quality.

Stuck-in-my-head-all-week : Unfaithful.

Puii- dance4GOD.

10:56 PM

Sunday, November 05, 2006

it's amazing how in every arise and build, you can literally sense the excitement in the air. so i did on the choir stand. was telling theresa i was feeling very excited. i pictured in my mind angels on the boundaries of heaven, looking down at expo hall 8. looking down at God's people writing down their pledges to build Him a house. i so wanted to jump way before praise started.

the message of the precious, heard it quite a number of times, yet, it reminds me once again, never give to God that which cost you nothing.

it was truly a time of sowing in tears. the whole atmosphere was such a wow. i guess, that's how our church came so far. this passion to give all that we are. it took 20 people, to 20 thousand. it took us from hollywood, to jurong west, to expo. what we're giving in tears today, we'll surely reap in joy. and the joy of seeing His house being built =)

angela took cellgroup for kenny yesterday. for closing prayer we had a time of worship and prayer. she told us to ask God what we're giving for. all i see was hands lifted, knees bended.

i yearn to see all nations bow their knees.

again, holding the pledging card. i was so touched. cos i see how God can use this little money that i have. and yes i was reminded, what ever i put in the master's hands, it shall be multiplied. like the five loaves and two fishes.

i will arise and lay down this sacrifice.



******************************************

i need help to kick some habits.

first i eat TOO MUCH. (ask cal, she'll tell you)

second. i'm ADDICTED to Bleach!! =P

okie, that's a jap anime.

and yup, that was just some random stuff to end off. contemp tomolo! HA HA HA.

Puii-

9:29 PM

Saturday, November 04, 2006

YES!!! I RECOVERED FROM MY IRRITATING FEVER AND HEADACHES!!!

Okie, not totally but, able to dance and stuff. =))) Didnt feel as bad as last few days. Told ya meds are no good for your body. I've been faithfully eating the med last few days and it just got worse. Today, i was lazy to eat med, and i RECOVERED! Ha~ so what's all the money we spent on docs for? Purely, for MC. -_-

Learned two choreos these few days, one from carol, one from gin. for da performance in mid-nov. =))) First gig for proj o, we're all so excited la!! YES! Paid gig. =)))

I hate being sick when i NEED to dance. Like if normal prac i can sit one side to rest la, but you needa learn choreo for performance, cant just sit there and eye power. So had to get those feet moving and those brains aching. My world was spinning spinning spinning until this morning. Yea! Thanks plankton for that ORH LOR LOR LOR yesterday before cg =))) FEVER BEGONE! Ha~ it worked! =)

*Thank God for Your healing powers =) Jehovah Rapha! Praise God!*

Class was tiring, but fun. Had a hard time trying to catch the steps, cos got some steps the rest had learned last week. So had to learn on the spot, and try to smoke through a bit, and had to ask them to teach me when gin gives us time to go through steps.

I like both the choreos, though i still cant get carol and gin's feel. yea! i feel so normal again. dancing ballet everyday must have driven me a little nuts. =P

Got a must-blog thing to say. Our dear friend Aaron, got so so HIGH from laughing just now, cos we were laughing laughing laughing as usual, there came a passerby that came approach him. he got real excited and went "HEY YO WHAZZUP MAN HI FIVE!" and laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh. So we tot is his fren, and we kept quiet, until we saw the shockness on the man's face, and we said with a china accent "Where is the national library?(in chinese)"

I laughed till my face almost cramped up la!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! After giving directions he can still "Hey peace out man, peace out"

Roflcopter Roflcopter...

After dancing, we went for a super sinful dinner at KFC, which defeats the results of hours of dancing totally, in terms of tummy. When we're all dead full after all that chicken, dear Chewie suggested " We go eat tau huey la?"

We almost fainted.

But we went after a while anyways. Was nice =)))

Service tomolo! Pledging weekend =)) Hear from Sinman that it's v good just now. Gonna go with a heart of expectancy =)))

Puii- arise and build.

11:25 PM

Irritating virus that got me. Left me feeling sick sick sick. Down with all-the-common-illness-you-can-think-of. fever, giddy, flu, cough, headache...blah blah..and the med aint helping much, seem to be making me feel worse. -_-

what's even better? i cant dance much. tried for carol's class, that throbbing headache.. i ignored it. ha!

before any one starts scolding me, i didnt do fullout k?! cos i cant -_- showed plankton my "fullout" the other day. she laughed. HAHA!

my med's almost all gone. pray my virus will be gone with it =))) ORH LOR LOR, sickness BEGONE! =)

and it seems like a lot of people's getting sick lately. so, all should drink more water and eat your veggies! =)


Puii- still hating fevers.

11:20 AM

me

searching meanings
with dreams, with dance
with love

puii

friends

`arjuna
`yong wei
`elizabeth
`zu you
`samantha
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