Monday, March 31, 2008
dang. facebook dun let me upload today's pics. i tried twice. and twice it failed me. i shall try again tomorrow. ITS NOT I PROCRASTINATE OKAY! hahahahahahahahahahaha!!puii- the.
12:39 AM
I totally felt i just wasted one hour of my life watching that vid i borrowed from Esplanade. For all you know, i might just like it better after viewing it for a few more times. but for now, one hour is enough. hahahaha..well, i really like the concept. i think its pretty clever. i really really love the concept and inspiration. its just that the whole thing is so draggy and stuff, and the dance, i feel, is not the main point, though it does play a huge role.
okay, i kinda like the concept really. cos its so true.
and the story of that wild boy is just so so sad. he lived a life that no one knew, or could imagine. he lived a life, not really truly knowing what it was. he died, just like that. i wished he'd known more more more than this. i feel so sad for him. i'm sure he'd have been a pretty young boy if he had been given a chance at normal life.
yet who are we to say he's abnormal? is this human pride? what's civilised?
his appearance made people question the difference between human and animal. his appearance made me question human rights, and human love.
dang i'm thinking too much again. =P
ANYWAYS! thats just that. its better than the other vid i got. i totally didnt wan to watch it after 5-10 minutes. hahaha..
Service today was v v v v v good. Pst Tan always got sucha power word to share. indeed procrastination and ambivalence stops so many of us from doing the things that we're supposed to do. time to step out NOW to do something.
here and now.
Easter appreciation @ Kenny's place was dope too!! havent had such a fun time in ages!! i just treasure these precious times =))) swimming suit next time!! =P hahahaha!
Many many pics! loading now.. dang facebook, i am totally sure it says upload success, then the album comes out empty -_- DANGGGGGG!!
kk i'm gonna slp soon. school tmr again! and its week 13 already!! i havent took out acting script to memorise!! not to mention practising with alison. hahaahahahaha.. and the good acting bad acting paper!! dangggg i wish i have 10 weekends to finish up acting stuffs. HAHAAH!
dance history paper due this wed!! stressed over mark morris. ARGH!!! =P hahahaahaha..
k la. see yall when i see yall. NIGHTS! =P
puii- i miss em girls plenty. i wuv em! =)
12:13 AM
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Dang. i'm so sad cos my house have no DVD player, and my com's one expired!!! so i cant watch em vids i just borrowed from the library after spending 21 doulers.just found a dvd player online. watched a bit of Wild Child. i feel like sleepign already. k la contnue tmr. NITES people =)
Makansutra's fried oyster standard drop!!! si ma lu's hawker one still rules!! =)
i actually seriously wanna watch step up 2 and vantage point one!! =( sad la...
puii- between us is like white chocolate.
11:51 PM
I miss!! and i love!! =) plenty plenty plenty!!
puii- doesnt matter. dont bother. =)
1:25 AM
Friday, March 28, 2008
i'm really excited i finished my comp class solo!! well, i'm not exactly happy about it. many changes needed!! but still, just glad that i got the whole thing out already. one less thing off my mind.. =)))Waiting for Icarus
He said he would be back and we'd drink wine together
He said that everything would be better than before
He said we were on the edge of a new relation
He said he would never again cringe before his father
He said that he was going to invent, full-time
He said he loved me, that going into me
He said was going into the world, and the sky
He said all the buckles were very firm
He said the wax was the best wax
He said Wait for me, here, on the beach
He said, Just don't cry
I remember the gulls and the waves
I remember the islands going dark on the sea
I remember the girls laughing
I remember they said he only wanted to get away from me
I remember mother saying : Inventors are like poets, a trashy lot
I remember she told me those who try out inventions are worse
I remember she added : Women who love such are the worst of all
I have been waiting all day, or perhaps longer.
I would have liked to try those wings myself.
It would have been better than this.
-Muriel Rukeyser
From what i heard, this poem's from a Greek mythology, about Icarus and his father being inventors of wings made from wax and feathers. Icarus was ambitious and went too close to the sun, the wax melted and he fell to his death. This poem is from the point of view of his lover, waiting for him to come back...
I think this is just so beautiful. and Loretta used it so cleverly. dang i wish i was that clever with words and concepts.
He said, just don't cry... AHHH!! really so pretty! =)
Anyways. i just realised how much i missed home cooked food! =))) i miss having dinner tgt with mummy!! =(
i ask. and question
the need for questions.
why do we need those questions
which we can never really get an answer?
A for Apple.
i ask. do you love me as a person.
an individual.
me, for who i am?
A for Avocado.
i ask. what is simplicity?
can what's simple today
be considered simple tomorrow?
i ask again, what is simplicity?
define it for me.
A for Accountancy.
child.
what makes you happy?
why are you happy?
do you know at all?
I NEED IDEAS FOR MY CHOREO! i need ideas for the speech thingys! Argh! =P hahhahaha..
puii- for now. speak.
10:53 PM
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
i came home wanting to accompany my mum cos i suddenly realised how lonely it feels to eat dinner alone everyday. jusT three letterS can Kill my mood.can you believe it? 12 minutes can earn me that!! dang...
Mutton soup made me happy just now =)))
School's amazing with Loretta in the house. i think she's amazing la really. and who said she's scary?!
we got killed by albert today. haha. havent been having his classes for quite some time! due to his reh and stuffs.. new combi, and we died. hahahaha first time dance until chest pain la.. too chuan. hahaaha..
i love mummy =) she always put a smile on my face =) i'll give her a kiss on the cheek later. hahahaha she's always irritated by that =)
Ivonn and June has been calling every other guy that walk pass the studio my boyfriend -_- hahaahahahahaha..
i got many things i wanna do. top on the list : finish my comp solo and dance hist essay. HAHA! =P
sleep sleep sleep right now!!!!!!!!! =))))
puii- in Your presence.
10:06 PM
I cant talk to you really. its painful.puii- and why did i even bother? =(
You dont even have the patience to wait for me from 9.42 to 9.58. you cant even be bothered to see what on earth took me so long before giving me the face. dont go around saying you love me and you care. its only gonna make it worse and hurt me more. dun say i'm your cute lil sister. that, i am no longer. well, you wont bother anyway. dun say i'm being crude. cos you'll never see WHY i did all that i did and said all that i had.
you'll never see it. its such a pity.
9:58 PM
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Yay for Easter!! dang its always over far toooooo FAST! hahaha.. totally enjoyed myself with my funnest peeps in town. =))))took pictures like it was free (okay, kinda free). haha cant wait to have the time to load em up =)
okay just here to drop something to say i'm not dead yet. and that i got craving for subway and mum's salad =))))
puii- country.
9:58 PM
Monday, March 17, 2008
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I'm a happy donor again!! =)) thanks Kenny for the picture! hahahaa i couldnt have taken it on my own right... =P hahahhaa..Service was real good yesterday =) just so love pst phil la! =) but.. no plankie! i will not change!! my fav is still pst ulf! hahaah!! =P
I've been thinking alot, remembering the past, and hoping for the future. i've been praying for you daddy, and i will still be praying for you. i love you with all of my being really. you're such a wonderful character in my life. i'd die for you, really. So daddy please know, we all love you very much.
I want to dance with my father again =)
puii- amazing grace, how sweet the sound.
10:34 PM
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Music is a wonderful thing. Lyrics just adds to the magic. I listened. I cried. I think that is beautiful =)Back when I was a child
Before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again
Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mama cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream
Oh i wish.. i hope.. i pray.. i yearn with all my heart.. my cry..
Lord, You know, You know, You know. Bring him back..
*
*
*
School's always alright after Wednesdays. So its pretty fine. Comp class is love. Perf lab class with albert is like meditation in aircon room. dangggggggggggg.
Comp class is love! I got all em vids! AND i havent send to my classmates! =P Dang dun kill me! =P
Today is saturday. Early morning we went Riverwalk for UGT 2008 (You've got Talent!) Was so so so so fun perf-ing with all em fun people! I totally enjoyed myself. =) Thanks to all of em for making me not feel so "extra" in a sense, cos i'm not their zone one! But none the less, it was real cool seeing them work so closely like that as a team to do up something big like that.
and that drama was awesome can! i mean they are not specially trained and stuff, so its really amazing to have such a wonderful drama being put up! =)
Jacky Huatz and Mike is dope as always always always.
Haha i think i was dancing like a mad monkey cos i was so tired and panting like crazy when i got off stage.. meaning i must have looked very kua zhang when i was dancing =( danggggg hahahahhahahaha.. well, never mind i enjoyed myself =)
Its just so fun la the whole thing. =) Thanks for having me over with yall people! =))
(Hopefully i can kope the group pics from somewhere la! =P)
After UGT was sucha boring time. so boring i HAD to ask that lousy penguin for entertainment. haha we came back woodlands, got chips and stuff and chatted at her void deck. how cool can that be?! HAHA! =P
anyways, thanks lousy penguin. though not all that good, at least you were some form of entertainment la huh? =))))))) well, i know you love me still =) BE GLAD! =P
Pst Phil tmr!! =) cant wait. oh oh and blood donation! i cant wait for that either! =) Oh! tmr's happy day.. JUST before another week of asfjsdklrjsfsiogfsdfasdifjs. HAHA!
puii- Dance with my father.
11:29 PM
Monday, March 10, 2008
ARGH!i'm stuffing myself with food. like, really alot ALOT of food. yall know the reason. yes that, that is the reason.
it aint getting better. i hope that email thing will come true.
i'm craving for tau huay right now.
i'm so tired, i'm gonan go slp right now. long day tmr. very very long day. haizzzzzzzzzzz
puii- i dont know. i dont know anything.
10:43 PM
Omg six more weeks before semester closes and final exams arrive. you gotta be kidding me, in a good and bad way.Its really six weeks too near, and six weeks too far all at the same time.
I got totally mixed feelings about this. i'm totally sad we're losing the seniors, imagine the whole dance department next year. sad case sad case sad case...... SO LITTLE PEOPLE!
yet, i'm totally happy its just a few weeks away before i can kick off all these crap and waste my life away. HA!
argh i dont know what i'm thinkng. school is such a hate-love affair thing. dang and i'll totally miss fun classes like comp class and dance science. =))
i kicked off my addiction for chocs. i kinda dont like them now. i mean those great big chucks. i think they are kinda gross when chocs come in such large amount. thats why that green choc mint thing is so perfect =)
i'm into real food now. like rice and stuff =) they cheer me up much better!!!! =P HAAH!!!
i totally dont knw what am i thinking blogging right now. i'm suppsoed to be finishing up my perf lab journal thats due tmr. HA! =P jia lat.........
oh btw. ministry prac today was fun as usual =) Jess get to fly!! =P so exciting. mayb we can aim to kick her while she goes around and stuff. HAHAHAHAH!! =P
earn back the aircon room!! =P
Welcome to Walmart, get your sh*t and get out. Have a nice day~
Ha Walter seriously rocks more than Popeye chicken! =p
puii- i think theres no sweeter escapes than the presence of God.
12:14 AM
Saturday, March 08, 2008
The world we live in just needs a bit more kindness and love. i personally believe we work alot better under positive environment. its not like i dont want to believe in things anymore, you're denying me the chance to even think about it.A lil bit of love is all we need. A chance to breathe. A place tolerant of mistakes. A word to tell us not to give up. A force to push us to still believe in dance. A hand that helps. A mouth that doesnt kills. A heart that believes in more than what can be seen.
If i were you, i would want that to help others. perhaps it'll be alot easier for them.
I guess thats why i really love people like Eliz and Nijinsky legs(HAHA!). They love us for who we are, and tries to help us to become who we can be, and who they see we can be. They push us up, and not down. They care. You can just see it.
The world is so much a better place with people like that. I can survive better. I can smile better.
*
The end of the week's been pretty kind to me. For one, albert's so kind on thursday to let us SIT and CHAT in perf lab class. yes ALBERT TIONG! hahahahahaha! we chatted for like what? 1 and a half hours with him? hahahahaha it was pretty cool to see his non-screaming side. and yes its definitely cool to escape from perf lab that day =))) hahahhaa!!
Mel's class was fun, cos it was so so so interesting to hear what others want to do for their solos for comp class. oh man i cant wait to see all the finished products!! =))) it's gonna be so so good. i'll definitely make sure i bring my cam with space and batt so i can film it down for nijinsky legs. HAAH! =P
Just something random for thurday: Meng Hooi is so cute cos she's always wanting to buy food for other people. and speaking of which, i just rem we havent pay her for the bubble tea she bot!! =P monday~~ monday~~
Pointe class was painful, in many different ways. yea enough on that.
Albert's perf lab = slacking and watching show time. cos we're not in the main cast =))) its really kinda wrong, the dance. but its undeniably nice! gosh so so so nice.....that duet thingy.
Got Ai's ticket to watch albert's show at Frontier. Was kinda last min, but June figured it was our last chance to catch something before our review assignment is due so.. yea. That chat with albert on thursday was helpful in understanding the dance. i guess bottom line is, you gotta know the red chamber story. hahaha! but i ended up liking the piece that nobody else seems to like. ha!!
i took the chance last night to sleep real late. which wasnt all that late afterall, like 3 plus 4? haha guess what time i woke up? 2 plus in the afternoon.
that's not the worst! i was watching tv, and fell aslp again in front of it at around 6 plus. by the time i woke up the sky was SO DARK! 8 plus! i kinda ran to the room and asked my mum "Why izzit night already?!!!" Like i expect her to give me any kind of answer. HAHAH!! =P
so yea, pretty slack today. tmr there's ministry training @ oschool in the evening =) cant wait to meet my darls. so sad i cant dance with ger and chew!!! especially chew man! missed her last christmas already!! =( so sad!! aiya, hopefully we can all do a perf together man!! faster come, new stadium!! =)))
puii- what is your dream? what do you really want?
10:37 PM
Thursday, March 06, 2008
I'm screaming out Sun's song:A lil bit of love is all we need
puii- more on that tmr.
2:43 AM
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
Another med.Another MC.
i hate that label people place on me. i hate the things i do to earn that label. i hate placing that label on myself.
got to meet lovely jen today =) been forever since i last saw her. hhahahaahah so nice la =)
prac-ed for U Got Talent 2, which is like next week. haha choreo-ed abit too. i was trying not to confuse them too much with all the stuffs. hahahah while teaching i realised, i've obviously failed in that! HAHA!! =P
anyways. thanks to man and jen for allowing me some time to finish choreographing the solo i'm supposed to show tmr in class. haha imagine how late must i stay up to choreo if i havent done it just now! =P
man is so dumb. she keep laughing at me!! =P
so i'm doing my journals right now. bed after that! =P
puii- i let myself off too easily. mayb i love myself a lil too much.
11:06 PM
i kinda knew this would happen. but not as bad as this, no. i really want to try to love you more, like how i truly love everybody else. you're just making it so so so hard, throwing all em swords and daggers at me, crushing me down down down for so many times.how can i stand up again to try to love someone like you?
your expectation is killing me, and my passion. you made me feel like that leaving this school is heaven. you made me regret the choices i made. you pushed me down again today.
you know how hard it is to try to stand up again?
you know, i dont hate you. i see why some people can love you to the core. if i really hated you, i wouldnt have tried so hard to hold back em tears. i wouldnt have tried to forget about it and just dance, whatever you wanted. i wouldnt have tried the chocolate therapy after class.
who wont want to dance well? who wont want to look good?
if you think my passion is crap, and my dreams are just empty, then i cant talk to you about that. you'll only rob my dreams and kill my hopes. if you cant see i'm trying, perhaps you aint even looking. you aint looking at anyone of us. i think, your eyes are just full of your expectations and your ideals. just like how you dont know how to help us anymore, i dont know how to try anymore.
dang i could cry.
*
but in seasons like these, thank God for silly friends who make me laugh, who took my mind off its "pricks". thank God that He send friends like angels, ever so loving and caring in their own different ways, tolerating my everything, laughing with me in every season in life.
i thank God that His love is unconditional. i thank God He gave me a stressfree place to run to and hide. i thank God i could still have a moment to myself at the end of the day. i needed that. thank You.
i dont see how its ever going to be, but i want to learn to trust in His word that says "all things work together for good to those who love Him." i want to trust that word.
i must stand again. no matter how hard.
I really really really appreciate friends who made me laugh today. i dont think they'd ever know how important that is to me right now. to know there'll always be that bunch that'll laugh with me, not at me. that they'll always love me just the same whether i dance to their expectation or not. that they'll always care, and be there for me, just to be a friend and laugh with me.
i guess thats really being there for me. i'm so thankful to God for all these angels angels angels angels.
puii- time out for emoing session =) lets run!
1:28 AM
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Gave myself an excuse to come blog awhile. less than 2 hours time i'll be in lala land. with tmr's first light comes to me, dance.until just now, i sorta forgotten again what a joy dance is. dance is not a monster. she don't reach for us with deadly claws, determined to have us under her feet and make us surrender.
dance is like a long lost friend. she knows you well; enough for you to express through her. yet dance is refreshing; there's always something new to learn about this friend, or something that you need reminding of. dance is my good pal. dance speaks on my behalf. dance laughs with me.
dance is my friend. not a monster.
its just fun to dance. but when you bring in human expectation, perspective of beauty and need for understanding and interpretation, it will just lose that joy, that kind that you have when you're a lil kid.
oh i just missed that. plenty. =)))
tmr i shall go face the claws of a monster called expectation, or i should say, un-met expectations. its not like i dont wanna dance well, its not like i dont wanna dance like her. i really do! i kinda love ballet all too. its just...... and contemp. i just wish my body was smart like all of yours.
in my dreams, come meet me Dance.
she's prolly the most amazing and most beautiful dancer i've seen. well, not that i've seen alot but yea, i'll kill to move like that. dangggggggggggggggggg.
puii- emo-ing. argh.
10:12 PM
Saturday, March 01, 2008
I want wisdom more than anything else.I want to be wise in handling people, situations, everything. I want to know things, and act cleverly. I want to be more useful in a sense. I want to have greater understanding in things. I want to be able to 'get it'.
I don't want to be a foolish person.
puii- Prov 9:7-9
1:47 AM
okay i've let myself be lazy with blogging for the whole week, simply becos, i'm TOTALLY lazy to. hahahaha.. been so dead tired the whole week even though there's no technique/theory classes, just rehearsals. i've had worse muscle aches then normal days.. i wonder............anyways!! am so glad i got to meet up with val sweetie last sunday!!! =))) caught up with her, watched a movie.
and i did the most ridiculous thing. my hand actually cramped up from eating popcorn -_- sooooo dumb..
ministry training was FUN! havent been there for so long cos it clashes on tuesday. dangggggggggggg i miss the crowd. =)
ahhh basically i'm just very tired, and tired of complaining how tired i am. so here's something happy, i FEEEEL a LITTLE slimmer after my stomach flu thingy. but i'm dead sure its all gonna come back at me after a week or two -_- danggggg. sianzors.
thanks to Ivonn and June, i know today that i smell like milk -_-
i'm just uttering some total random stuffs.
i love thes and chew!! they are so cute today =)
and i miss plankie poooooo!! =P i wanna pinch her face.
okay. enough of random stuffs. time to head for lala land =))
oh speaking of which, i am reminded of something totally random. i was watching the history channel yesterday, and it was talking about the 2004 tsunami. it was just like a new blanket of astonishment and grief that came upon me as i watched all that scenes. its just painful to watch it all over again, to be reminded of the pains those people took. aiya its just.... sad.
SO.. i dreamt i was in a flood!! rushing waters. so there i was beside some railing thing, climbing my way forward as my whole body was lifted up by the current (yes sooo dramatic). funny thing is, Ivonn and June's tagging along behind, and we are going to meet Jenny, Zu You and Yong Xin. HAHAH!!! yes in that situation i am still thinking of going to meet them. so totally random. and guess what?! we actually made it out of the rushing water into a random metal tunnel of dead water -_-
yes we are safe after that.
okay. enough random stuffs. bye NITES!
puii- dreams are funny stuffs.