the flesh and blood of love

Saturday, May 31, 2008



























The Road not Taken - Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.


puii- Jehovah Nissi, raise Your banner higher.

4:40 PM


Its disturbing how disappointments can drive people to tears. On hope we stand, and off we go, on someone else's shove. There, we fall. Sitting on the floor wailing like a child. Wailing for attention, gentleness and attentiveness.

Its confusing, how efforts can give such total opposite reaction that we'd expect. Its so confusing, it'd make us cry like a child that loses our way.

Its amazing; the things we shed tears for.

We are but kids; a lil grown up. We still need certain things; love, care, concern, attention, just to mention a few. Genuine ones that is. Dry efforts would only destroy, and break the vessels, allowing streams of sorrow, bitterness and disappointments to flow.

I think this love that God has put in us has a much greater capacity. I believe it can allow us to mend more hearts and dry more tears. I just pray each of us would be able to tap into sensitive and unconditional love; that of Jesus, the perfect Love.

I want to bring smiles to peoples' faces. I want to love with a bigger love. I want to care more, to do more. I want to move out and do something.

I want to adopt a new motto: make a difference, or a mess; just do something!

I've been standing still for too long. Time to do something. Time to step out. Time to move on to higher ground.

If we'd be where God want us to be, and be listening to what He says, perhaps there'd be lesser tears that'll be shed. Perhaps there'll be lesser disappointments. Perhaps you'll understand better.

Perhaps you'll finally see what i mean.

I pray you do.

Puii- burdened.

3:28 AM

Monday, May 26, 2008


Sin man took the com and left poor me to blog in the room. Haha. So irritating.

I love love love today; how we got to spend time together and all as a family. But dang we still missed that swimming trip afterall. Haha. We went to the food fest and laugh at kiasu people together. We went to the robinson sale thing and became kiasus ourselves. Haha! Not that bad la actually. It wasn't much sales anyway, no much nice stuff too. Haha.

Filled our tummy at Lerk Thai. Finally got to try food there after so long. I mean...its been around for like, forever. Haha. I wish i had iron tongue. I'd probably enjoyed everything more without that pain in the tongue thing. And, honest, tom yam is so not my thing, and i think its ugh.

ThumbS up for all their veges tho! :) that eggplant thing rock ah! :)

Sidenote. I just pray some genius scientist will soon invent a cheap and good machine that'll relieve all tightness in joints and crack all our bones anytime. I wish i could have a robot that cracks my back for me all the time.

Then again, i'm pretty sure cracking of bones ain't some nice thing to do. The more i crack, the more i ache and am in pain. Haha. Stupid back bones.

And on another totally random side, i just wanna ask anyone that might know if Judea has any biblical meaning in terms of location or defination or whatever la. Haha... Tell me if you know of any la! :)

Reh reh reh Tmr! I pray, no more KFC! Haha!

Note to self. Every one has moved on to higher ground. Step up. Catch up. Let yesterday push you into tomorrow.

Puii- i wan many things! Haha...

11:45 PM

Sunday, May 25, 2008



























Don't take too long to say
"I love you" to the ones you love,
cause time has a habit of slipping away

Out on a clear blue sky,
when lighting strikes on a sunny day,
just take me in and keep me from the rain,

And the words that seem so hard to say,
come out when you've gone away,
stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,
and I need you by my side,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,
with you

Turn around to say goodbye,
with each and every word that passes by,
like a distant memory,

and time keeps slipping away,
and time will turn to grey,
and time will be the one who holds you down,

And the words that seem so hard to say,
come out when you've gone away,
stay a little while and hear me say,

That I want you here tonight,
and I need you by my side,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,

And I want you by my side,
and I need you here tonight,
for just one more moment,
for just one more moment,
with you

Sometimes time will treat you bad,
Before you even know what's wrong,
and in the end it hits you hard,
please tell me you'll be strong

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Indeed the world is impacted by disasters that come. I was really crying and in tears tears tears seeing the victims and victors of the Si Chuan Earthquake. I see how humans were made to be so tough and strong, yet loving and gentle. I saw helping hands, i saw loving tears, i saw grateful smiles and heartfelt touch. i see how people can really be for others.

Yet i also saw our time running out. I saw life of the living, all the livings, ebbing out by the seconds. i saw how we, living in "today", will never be sure of tomorrow.

Thats why we cannot wait to say how much we love each other. Thats why we should stand up and shout. Thats why we should carry the cross daily. Thats why the going out. Thats why the open doors.

Thats why the loving everyday.

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I love how God gives surprises. I love how He always surprise me with a game of jigsaw puzzles. He always hands me the pieces, not telling me they are the pieces. And when He joins them up to show me the full picture.. "There,"

=)

I will sing forever,
Jesus I love You.

puii- Your river will flow.

11:52 PM

Friday, May 23, 2008

I just (kinda) recovered from the worst morning ever. Waking up from the most horrible dream ever, to find fever and sore throat haunting me, making that aching body even more poor thing.

So i woke up with fear and pain. haha mummy had pity and many loves, and fed me breakfast, HAHA!!!! =P

mummy's so cute.

i'm gonna go sleep a while more. go away fever and body aches.

puii- dead man walking. AHHH! =P hahahahahaha...

1:07 PM

I'm so dang tired from all the dancing this few weeks! But am very happy la =) yay dance!!!

oh poor poor body. all em aches and burns all over!! i'll be honest, i totally dont feel like getting out of bed everyday! hahahahahaha..

i miss my flowers. we havent seen each other for quite some time!!

ahhh i'm very very very tired physically. i think i gonna pass watching late night mythbusters and go catch a few zzz's. hmmm mayb a coke float before that =))))))))))

YES! i finally got to eat laksa today. 've been talking to my mum about it for the whole week at least. hee! but its just that.. the laksa's not very nice.. dang woodland's food -_-

okay NIGHTS!!!!!!!!! sleep sleep sleep!!!

............ and dream of monkeys and grandmonkeys!! HAHAHAHA!!

puii- More than life.

12:39 AM

Thursday, May 22, 2008




I was in the belly of a fish, like Jonah, losing sight of God and where He want me to go, having the feeling that I am not going anywhere, and would never be going anywhere.

But I believe prayers on bended knees are keys to bring me back to shore. I believe I will be able to, again, breathe His air and see His light. I will be able to once again head for the place that He wants me to be.

We will lose sight here and then, but i'm sure God is a God of second chances, so long as we humble ourselves and seek His face, will and Kingdom.


I want to listen, and then move.

He will get us out of the fish belly and back into our destiny.

Puii- You tore the veil. You made a way.

2:50 AM


無我...

Selflessness on God's part:

He gave His life.

"On a dark and cloudy day, a man hung crying in the rain.
All because of Love."

Selflessness on our part:
The giving of ourselves as Christ did for the works of His Kingdom. Putting our lives in His hands. Giving, as He gave.

"I finally found the reason for living.
Its in giving every part of my heart to Him."

If we are only about pursuing our own goals, targets, agendas, schedules and good, isn't that self-centeredness and selfishness all over again?

I realise its no longer what I want to do, or what I can achieve. Its hearing, and then doing what God has spoken into our lives, Him guiding our every single step.

Its about the big picture, not how big we can be in that picture. It all doesn't matter, cos we're all here ultimately just to show God. He is the star of this picture.

What seem good, and what you must do are two totally different things. I don't want more skills and talent; I want the anointing.

*

God's Handwriting

He writes in characters too grand
For our short sight to understand;
We catch but broken strokes, and try
To fathom all the mystery
Of withered hopes, of death, of life
The endless war, the useless strife, -
But there, with larger, clearer sight
We shall see this - His way was right.

puii- Run.

2:22 AM

So here I am again
Willing to be open up and broken like a
Flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

*

Nature astounds me. I'm constantly amazed by the machanism of life, the beauty of creations, the wonderful gifts from God.

A flower lives, and dies in a matter of days, of weeks. Yet in their short lives, taught me so so much.

Only a flower that is willing to open up, will be the most glorious. Yet again, it is also opening up to rain; pressure, destruction. A flower selflessly opens, allowing all of heaven and earth to see the beauty of God through its beautiful petals and mesmerizing fragrance.

Soon, rain will come, beating mercilessly, bringing with it petals, life, and beauty of one of life's greatest teachers, as time would to us.

All that is left is awe; awe at the Creator.
Such Greatness.
So wonderful.
How Beautiful.

I want to be BOLD, like a flower in the rain.

I'm captivated by Your love, Jesus =)

puii- The Blood Song.

2:21 AM

Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Warm coke is not satisfying at all. What's worse is that i got cheated by the machine when it freaking says COLD. I just glupped the whole thing down like its something lesser than plain water. Dang it left me sweating even more in this dang hot weather!:( its got no more use anymore.

Coke must be cold!

Okay. This is just another of my yadayada after practice.

Dang i just missed two buses in a row.

Okie. Tata.

Puii-

1:59 PM

Monday, May 19, 2008


My house is in desperate need for a new can opener. The current one just spoiled my cream of chicken can, what's worse... Trapping the goodness inside cos the lid was not fuller open despite that blade thing running a whole full round around!


I think this is the end of the world. Thank God there's superhero Mr. Spoon that can rescue the content and save my tummy.

2:26 AM

Saturday, May 17, 2008


By mandarintutors@pacbell.net on Flickr
© All Rights Reserved.


there are certain(many) things that we're not suppose to do. we give ourselves excuses anyways, in expense of everyone and everything else. we just decided to be selfish.. selfish.. selfish.. so what if we could please ourselves; fulfilling our dark wishes and secret egos, proving ourselves to everyone else that our descisions is right, and that we are clever in spite of what others say?

so what if we are the only ones that are right? that, ultimately, will prove us to be wrong.

if only we could all learn to get away from our own side of the fence and see to whom our actions are intended to benefit.

can we stand at neutral ground to think: what should we ultimately achieve? who should we please? what do we do? what ARE we doing?

if we'd only think of the people, or the Person, we'd hurt with the things we do, the world would be a better place.. cos its not all just-for-me. if a person live life only for oneself, how sad it'd be.

i'm not saying i'm perfect. i do have my selfish moments. thats why we are all growing together in this. to learn a bigger love, and selflessness. to learn to give of, and not take from. to learn that kindness is a wonderful gift to pass-it-on. to learn that thinking about others is always a better thing to do. to learn that love is not only about loving-myself. to learn that we are not the poorest soul on earth. to learn that we can give someone something precious.

to learn, we can love, and make a difference.

The first step forward, is to first think about others; before we really did take that step to anywhere.

puii- 無我

11:12 PM

I wonder how it must have felt
When David stood to face Goliath on a hill
I imagine that he shook with all his might
Until You took his hand, and held on tight

'Cause You were there, You were there
In the midst of danger's snare
You were there, You were there always
You were there when the hardest fight
Seemed so out of reach
Oh, You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So there he stood upon that hill
Abraham with knife in hand was poised to kill
But God in all his sovereignty had bigger plans
And just in time, He brought a lamb

'Cause You were there,You were there
In the midst of the unclear
You were there, you were there always
You were there when obedience
Seemed to not make sense
You were there, You were always there
You were always there

So haven't I learned that my ways
Aren't as high as Yours are
And You alone keep the universe
From crumbling into dust
You are God and though we would
Not have understood You

There You were

Hanging blameless on a cross
You would rather die than leave us in the dark
Every moment, every planned coincidence
Just all makes sense
With Your last breath

You were there, You were there
During history's darkest hour
You were there, You were there always

You were the Victor and the King
You were the power in David's swing
You were the calm in Abraham
You are the God who understands

You are the strength when we have none
You are the living, Holy one
You were, You are and You will always be
The Risen Lamb of God


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sometimes it feels like You're so so near, closer to me than my very breath. others, You'd be like miles away; i closed myself without me knowing, and i cant find you. one moment i fall head and heel over; into Your river of love. one moment i'm grabbing in the dark; lost and helpless as ever. it scares me how i'm so similar to the children of Israel in the desert...

yet i know in all these times, You are always always there.

You've been there since then till now. You are here right right now. and You'll always be there from now into my future, no matter where that is.

And wherever You are, let me be there too.

puii- because Your blood was red.

3:12 AM

Bored on the bus


Haha blogging with my phone again:) was at JW church just now. So, we ended kinda late and the train JUST left when we reached the station.

Lucky for me there's still one LAST bus left!:)
was really happy:) but that joy kinda ended quite soon after i took the bus, when i saw how it was INCHING its way throughout the entire land, and still be at jurong area. So i'm still far far far away from home right now... Haha...

Dang! The bus just made a turn into the way that another bus always took, opposite from my way home! :(oh man...this is gonna be a LONG trip:(

Okay! Shall nap a lil. Take care people:)

puii- You were there, You were there.

12:30 AM

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I, had a very good, and very bad day. hahaha but overall i still think its a good good good day =) i'm happy right now for how the day turned out =)

Its just amazing how fast you'd face opposition, when you're embarking on something powerful, and biblical.

so... so happen my fren mentioned something, and that something appeared today!!! i'm sure its not coincidence, and i'm glad they kinda scoot away when i prayed =) so.. yea =) prayer works, and my God is powerful! haha =)

dancing made me totally weak and fainty cos i havent ate since early early morning. last night in fact. KFC was my first meal. dang, it took so longggg for me to recover. hahahaha..
okay.. so i had a great great day =))) talk plenty with Daddy=)

i just wish i had my own room, with my own space. space; not intruded. space; called my own. space; safe to run to, to keep for myself.

i wish i had my own room.

okay, so to end this post, i shall expose Melvin Evil Tan of his evil deed of spoiling my cute and pretty picture!!!


and this nonsensely evil picture comes as a result of the following photo..






come on, obviously he's jealous of BARNEY. HAHAHAHHAH!!!

okay bye!! =) early sleep TONIGHT! =)

puii- come thirsty.

11:41 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Came home deciding that previous skin was too jaang jaang. Well, decided to go minimalistic this time. hahahahahaha.. =P

Service was awesome good, apart from the fact that i went there late cos i woke up late =P

Mutton soup mutton soup!! It is better than chocolates =)) oh mansss! haha but i still prefer sim lim square's one, in comparison to the one i just ate at bedok. sim lim's one got more herbal flavaaaa! =P

Mummy's day!! and i dont see my mum around yet. hahahah bet she's out happily eating with her church friends. dang, cant wait for her to be home right NOW! =)))

RANDOM: *i tot my tortoise died -_- it sure can act ah!*

sinman's coming back tmr late night! dunno if we're all gonna go get her not. hahaha.. hopefully la! =P so i can have an excuse to go eat at airport =)) HEE!!

Okie!! i'll go catch some zzz before getting up to get some exercises, before i start looking like my rabbits =P

puii- love is a river.

3:47 PM

woohoo!

dangggggggggggg i JUST changed blogskin and i'm starting to feel bored with it already. =(

LEAVE IT FOR NOW PUIMAN! =P

oh man, if only i can blog in chinese =)))

puii-

1:57 AM

Swimming swimming burnt my skin!!! =((( its so pain now, and i look exactly like my bag. i was spamming aloe vera gel thing on myself yesterady. hahaah guess i needa do that again today =((

I DONT WANT PEELING SKIN ON MONDAY!! =P

After swimming yesterday... Ivonn kinda cutted my fringe for me. and all that time she keep saying i look like some china doll thing, cos of my red face too. hahahahaha..

Cellgroup was good, real good =) and.. i love that game thing we played! shower cap!! HAHAHA! =P

haha and... you might have guessed, i didnt went job-hunting today. ended up slacking at home actually.. fell asleep in front of tv and stuff in between mythbusters.. that kinda stuff. =p

But well, i did get myself outta the house at least =)) went to watch nafa's dance production with aaron and chewie. well, i cant really say i love it ta bits, but there's one piece that i really like =))

Aiyo chew is really so cute =))

Dang i wanna turn pirouettes like that girl that danced as Giselle! =( hahahahahahahaa.. me and my lousy turns. danggggg...

Mothers' Day tmr!! =) got my mummy a lil something.. but, not sure if she'll like it. hopefully la =))) hahaha gonna leave it at her bedside before i go zzzz =)))

okay! i shall go sulk and sleep now. =) nights world!! service service tmr!! =)

puii- so here i am again..

1:46 AM

Friday, May 09, 2008

You are the one
There's no one else
Who lifts me up
And gives me water from the well

But there's a hole
That seems to drain it all away
And once again
I'm left in fear and doubt
When all my strength is crying out

So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

The evil wind
It blows a storm
To rock my world
Just when I think I'm safe and warm

I'm lead astray
Far to easily
It's always hard for me to say I'm wrong
Until I know I can't go on

So here I am again
Willing to be opened up and broken
Like a flower in the rain
Tell me what have I to do
To die and then be raised
To reach beyond the pain
Like a flower in the rain

Lord, You have searched me
And know when I sleep and when I rise
You're familiar with all my ways
Even the darkness will shine
Like the day
When you look into my heart

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*

i just love love love this song. i think... this is what i really want to be. to be open up, to be broken. by the raindrops from heaven. dripping, dripping over me. to be like a flower, amazing in so many ways; one of life's greatest teachers.

yea i want to be a flower.

puii- pick me up. keep me close.

12:51 AM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

YAY i managed to switch my "mobile blog" stuffs to my here so =))) i can blog anywhere now!! i am invincible!! hahahahaha..

well, i still do rely on MMS power. i'm not a suepr hero then. dang..

okay i'm talking nonsense. bahhh...

so, basically those post with photos are most prob from my phone. hahaha.. =P yay!! more random thoughts on the road moments to be posted! love that =) hahahhahaha if not i normally forgets them. =P hahaahahahhaha.. thank God for technology! =P

Holiday's been good so far, i just feel i need to be dancing alot alot alot more. hahaha..

yesterday, finally got my lazy leg working, cos i finally got myself out of the house to do anything productive. dang.... its just been a few days without dance classes and i cant turn anymore!! hahahaha.. =P

Yay to swimming tomorrow!! haha in case you're wondering, we didnt manage to go on wed cos i kinda couldnt wake up laaaaa... lucky ivonn smart, went to eat mac instead of faithfully trying to wake me up. hahahahahah =P

okay.. i better go find something satisfying, and head for bed soon. dang sis is away to hong kong. HA! i can steal her bed space =)))))) YES!

sooooooooooo. NIGHTS people!! =) plans to go job-hunting this sat. hahahahahaha any lobangs or willing companions can tell me ah! =)) HEEE!! Yay~! =P

i feel like eating apples now. maybe i'm turning into a deathgod. (see deathnote) HAHAH!! =P

puii- there You were.. hanging blameless on a Cross.

11:43 PM

Go go go...


Got another one of those random many-thoughts moments. I really miss em prayer walk things i use to do early morning and late into the night. I miss having Daddy holding my hand as we walked and chatted:) i love that wind in my face. Oh man i missed it when woodlands was still safe enough for me to do that. Haha.

You were there... :)

Dancing for You, Jesus:)

Puii-

10:55 PM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Was playing around with my phone last night =)) found some cool stuffs to do with it. oh and a mobile blog.. but its kinda useless.. soooo.. hahahahaha.

http://yesalp783.blogspot.com/

Its' here anyways if you wanna see it. hhahahah but i cant figure how to go to another paragraph so its all in a chunk. mayb i can figure that out some other times. =P hahahaha..

yes i got a new phone cos my previous one kinda fainted on me. it was such a random buy cos my dad just asked me out to causeway point without telling me that he was actually planning to get me a phone =) hahahah so i got a W910i, a red one =))

dang i love this red puppy =)

its kinda irritating still, figuring out all the functions. hha but other than that i guess i'm alright =)

Swimming trip tmr =))) Yayness!!!

second day into hols and all i've been doing is sleeping and lying around watching mythbusters. and munching up all the apples at home.. yea stuffs like that. hahahaah i'm contemplating whether to go out to causeaway point to get more apples and some cereals/snacks stuff. well, looking at the time... mayb tmr la. =P hahahahahaah..

I want to get back to dancing soon =))) Gonna go look for job tmr or thursday. Yay!

puii-

9:34 PM

Testing the blog function of my new phone:)


Hey hey:) not sure whether this' gonna work, but i'm typing this blog here in the middle of the night on bed with my new phone:) well, you could have guessed that i'm pretty excited. Actually, i wasn't quite ready to come back to room to test this puppy actually, but i HUGE insect came from nowhere and drove me to the room like a chicken. So... Haha... I'll have to check my blog Tmr to see if this entry is in. Hee... Well i can't figure how to in down one paragraph yet so let's just bear with this chunk of words until i do something about it. Haha... Here in the picture, which is suppose to show was at dinner just now, belated birthday and early mummy day celebration to the woman of this house:) Haha hope she enjoyed. Okay i've had enough of prolonged typing on this irritating keyboard. Guess i'll check this blog thing Tmr:) Puii-

2:20 AM

Monday, May 05, 2008

I'm feeling really happy happy that production's finally over. Cant bear to see all the seniors go though. gonna miss them so so so so so so so so much!!! oh man.. just when we're all knowing each other a whole deal better from all the dancing togethers.

I love school for being the very thing that held us together. Now school's over for them.. i'm gonna miss them so so much. dangggg =(

Happy birthday Ivonn!!!! 20s club 20s club! haha..

Fly with Me was awesome. Just love these dancing peeps to the bones =) Pics are up on facebook, go tag yourselves! =P hahahaha..

Holiday's finally here. Its pretty overwhelming to think of three months, but i'm sure it'll be over in a flash. Any lobangs for part time or temp jobs tell me ah! =P hahahaha.. wanna keep dancing too this holiday.

and i secretly want to slim down, but its not a secret now anymore. hahahahhahaha.. i seriously wanted to go swimming today at evening time but.. mayb tmr.

Holiday = More mythbusters. Bleach time. Read more books. Find things to do =) ahahahahahaha..

puii- Kiss of Heaven

3:43 AM

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Its really late, and i'l real tired and sleepy. but i just want to be thankful for lovely people in my life; thanks for being so accepting and fun, encouraging and trusting, really loving and caring for others beyond your comfort zone.

they really are such angels in life. they'd make any place seem like heaven.

i'm glad i got angels in my closer circle of connections. they pull me up and push me forward. they walk together with me. even if life puts us on separate paths, i know we can trust each other to be there when we need another.

oh man.. cant bear to see the seniors leave man.. 'd be so sad tmr after the last show! cos they'd be like.. officially outta school already. gonna miss them mighty much.. oh man just when we all got to know each other a whole deal better! gonna miss all that fun, laughter and all. they are such a great bunch of fun people =) good show tmr guys!!! last one, make it a blast man! =) more photos to be taken!! =)))) be pretty and handsome tmr for all the flashes! =)

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i just had another cool experience yesterday. my bus ride home yst was totally cool; it was like plugging into a heavenly iPod or something, cos throughout the ride i heard many wonderful songs. i heard a totally cool emo hip hop song accompanied with guzheng. i cant tell you how nice it is. dang i wish someone heard that too and made it into a track. i just thought how music is really the most widespread language that we know. cos everyone, even if we dont understand each other in speech, would at least listen to the music of cultures and all, as it speaks for itself.

i hope dance would be like this. not just used for fame and glory, but to speak from the depths of our soul to communicate what we feel must be spoken, or heard.

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i'm blessed =) i believe prayer works wonders. i utter a lil prayer for all the dancers @ LaSalle. Pure joy tmr =)

Nights!!

puii- Fly with me, with us.

2:47 AM