Gahhhh i'm so sleepy! Its 418am and i gotta teach just a while later at 745am =P hopefully i will rem everything i just choreo-ed for class later. =P
it was horrible just now, i dun have any clue what i did last week for that class cos i choreo-ed it on the spot cos they dun like the new music i choreo-ed to, so i change lo.. hahaha change till i never draw out my stick man!!!
then i forgot. hahaha very clever..
thank God there was a light bulb moment and *tink!* i suddenly rem a step or two!! then i slowly rem the rest of it, and now i have some things i wanna do tmr! =D
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Halo baby!! Hope you were surprised by dinner tonight! =D i wuv you!
I randomly decided to try Texas Chicken, and wanted to surprise dar with it. So he drove, not knowing where he's going! =P hahahaha.. along the way i still worry mayb i gave wrong directions or what..
no chance, i'm DAMN GOOD with direction. HAHAHAHAHAHHAH =D
anyway, managed to keep it a secret till we reached the door =D not much of a surprise too, just random. hahahahaha.. anyways, its not too bad!! like a popeye copy. hahaha..
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Yay! Finally had XJH with full cast yesterday!! With the grass somemore!! (HAHAHA..) Yes, we were all late, lucky the grass know us better, and waited =D
Love XJH!! If only can have more more more! So sad Junebaby leaving again!! =( Then IvonnYipJiaZhen always too busy for me!!!!!!!! Hahahaha.. Love the company, love the chit chat, love the food =D
I bot a new pants =D
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Happiest day of the year's coming! =D
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i'm fat =(
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I need new sneakers or something sporty and casual at the same time. the onitsuka tiger sporty shoe so nice, but so ex =(
Mayb i should just get lee cooper again. hahahahaha..
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Instant long hair please! this length is killing me! =O
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I'm blogging random again. Prolly means i'm tired. Kays!! I gonna slp for couple hours and riseandshine! =D
I've been thinking too much. i need to rest!
puii- pimple problem =(
4:18 AM
I know this doesn't make sense....
I picked up a little rock while walking down the road. It was cold, and a little heavy. It sat in my hand, a small little weight. It was so small, i put it in my pocket.
I walked a bit further and saw another rock. I picked it up too. A little heavier, this one. I put it in my pocket too.
(You should know I've picked up these rocks, but I didn't want you to know, so they're safe in my pockets. No harm done, i thought.)
Thats when i saw another rock, quite big this one, with rough and sharp edges. I didn't want to spoil my pockets, so i held this one in my hands. A small little weight, a heavier one, and this one, quite big.
Did i mention it was foggy? Its always foggy along this road that i walk, cos you're not suppose to know what is ahead of you. Every step is a discovery, like how every second brings you a little in time. As i walk i saw more rocks, and i felt a need to pick them up. I know i shouldn't, and i know you didn't want me to, but...
.. now i have a handful of rocks. my pockets are almost full with the smaller little rocks. In my hands are the bigger, rougher ones with sharp edges. They are beginning to cut me a little, but i don't mind. i wouldn't give letting them all go now; i've held on to these for quite some time now. But now in front of me was a cluster of rocks, some really big ones. What am i to do?
(I know you didn't want me to pick up these rocks but I....)
In a frenzy, i took them all; or tried to. Like some wild animal snatching its meal i grabbed the bigger ones and set them in my arms as fast as i could, piling the smaller (but rough and sharp) rocks on top of them. There were so much i couldn't even take it all.
It was very hard to walk. I couldn't even see the road.
The weight was killing my hands, my fingers are turning white holding desperately to the rocks. The sharp edges are cutting me, rather mercilessly, like rocks would do. And i'm tired, the rocks made me very very tired. And i couldn't tell you how much the rocks are hurting me, because you cannot know. You wouldn't let me take all these rocks with me if you knew.
I know i shouldn't, but I did. Now i cannot let them go.
Along the road, i see doors. I'd like to see what's behind those doors, but i can't. My hands are very very full.
And then I saw a figure, there was someone else walking on this road. And everywhere this person went, there was a trail of rocks, big and small, as if left there just for me.
And yes, indeed, it was all for me, and i took it all.
I wished and hoped and prayed with all my might for the person to disappear, so i wouldn't have to pick up rocks again, but it never happened, and i continued to try and hold every single rock i come across, walking down this road. Like a mouse being lure by pieces of food, I followed the rock trail to somewhere i rather hate. I'd much rather go back and see what was behind those doors that i passed.
But i can't. I cannot open those doors with my hands full with these rocks from the road.
One day, one important day, the person decides to leave. at long last. and no more rocks came along this path that i walk. Of course, just before departure, the person left me a gift, a rock so huge, so much bigger than anything i've encountered before. So i let it crush me; it was so heavy.
I couldn't walk for a very long time.
Then i saw you in a distance. But i know you couldn't help me. This was my rock, and i have to deal with it. I'm sorry i picked up the rocks. I know shouldn't have, but i did.
It took a long time, but i stood up eventually. Now i still walk with rocks, trying to drop them off one at a time. I still have quite a handful, but i've gotten rid of quite a bit. I walk easier now, and i feel happy again, even if just a bit. The rocks made me depressed, left wounds and scars all over me, and i know some will always be with me; I'll never learn to get rid of them. I just have to live with it, till the day i can learn to let it go.
I just hope i won't meet another person who would drop rocks onto the path i'm walking, and that i'd know better the next time I see another rock by my feet when i walk.
puii- sometimes.. its just not that easy...
1:27 AM
Friday, September 24, 2010
Gahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! Been having this haunting headache for the whole bloody day, and its not getting better even now, and the day is ending already, HELLO?
=(
Not like its the most painful thing ever, but its so disturbing, its like i almost can't feel it, but its not quite so kind to let me feel "okay".. arghhhh its killing me!! =( i hope vienetta will cure it =P
and yes, i'm officially in love with that ice cream/cake thing.
okay maybe the headache is a little worse than i make it sound. i can TOTALLY feel it.
=(
today wasn't as eventful as i hoped it'd be. i had time to read all the richie rich that i wanted! =D but i wish and i wish and i WISH for a slice of vienetta for supper treat to make up for it!! =D
i love sia furler. especially this song. and this rendition =D wish i had the mp3 version, and it could be on repeat repeat repeat repeat =D
OKAY i wanna go lie down now. stupid headache.
puii- I LOVE YOU BABY! =D
11:06 PM
so long never blog already!! hahahaha think i'm just lazy to log in and type and try and put my thoughts together..
maybe i'm just lazy to think.
happy that i've finally OFFICIALLY graduated, marked the end of my lasalle life at the convocation. yes throwing the motarboard (however you spell it) and everything =D i love the free satay. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA..
anyway the whole thing was so long and boring, and june and lulu didn't even bother with being discreet with the sleeping!! aishin an and me had a great time laughing at them. TOO BAD MY CAM WASN'T WITH ME!!! =( mega bummer. hahahahahahahaha it'd be a funny shot!
and An's sneaky shot was sneaky, but no shot. hahahhahaha..
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happy to be dancing alot more these couple of weeks, compared to that period when i just graduated. maybe my body can't take it cos i've been slacking for so long. my muscles are aching and my stamina is like sh*t. really damn cuiiiii.. really wish i had the self-motivation to go jogging or whatever. at least swim for real when i go swimming and not just play water. =P hahaahahahahahaaha..
anyways, i love to be dancing again.. =D
my shoulder's giving me problems tho. i do hope it'll start getting better tmr =(
and womanhood's giving me a hell of a hard time today =( dayammmmmnnn
poor baby had to stay home whole day cos of me =P SOWWY we couldn't go out!
*andiloveyouplenty!*
halo sweet baby, my darling, my han-sum (without the beanie)! =D i know we sometimes forget, but i do love you many many! and thanks for always taking care of me when i'm sick and weak and being a whiny irritating kid demanding for ribena =P i love you more than capybaras! more than breakfast buffets, more than harvey digest mags, more than ice milo, more than swimming trips, more than tv marathons and everything else we do. but because of you, i get all of those too!!! =D
YAY!
i love you, and i love you loving me.
Happy one and three quaters years! =D
puii- i'm in here, can anybody see me?
12:07 AM
me
searching meanings
with dreams, with dance
with love